In Which My Parents Tell Me I’m an Adult Now

I love food. That should be pretty evident by my possession of this blog. I watch a lot of cooking shows. I eat a lot of good (and not so good) food. So it would make sense that I would be a good cook.

Well, I’m not. At least, I’ve never really tried to be. The idea of cooking my own meals has been pretty daunting up until this point. But I’ll have to cook for myself all summer and all next year and probably for the rest of my life, so this week while I’m on spring break my parents told me I had to finally figure out how to cook for myself.

I had already scoured Buzzfeed Food for hours finding recipes that I wanted to cook in the future, so at the very least I was an expert at choosing recipes. I picked something called “currywurst,” which is sausage flavored with curry (among other things).

These posts about me trying to cook could go one of two ways: 1.) I give you a recipe that I blatantly stole from the Internet/some cookbook in my house and tell you to try your best or 2.) I could document all the mistakes I make and messy outcomes I end up with so that you can avoid them/feel better about yourself/at least maybe laugh at me a little.

Obviously I’m choosing the latter. For some reason, my parents were convinced I would mess up at the very beginning by just not being able to buy the correct ingredients. I managed to astonish the whole household by going to Wegmans (aka the best grocery store in the world), downloading this cool Wegmans grocery store app, accidentally ordering a Wegmans Shoppers Club Card, and purchasing the ingredients I needed. I also thought I would be really cool and Chopped-worthy by making this into a noodle dish instead of a sandwich-type-thing that it was supposed to be.

The first step was dicing an onion. How hard could that be? I’ve watched Gordon Ramsay dice thousands of onions in my lifetime. I Wiki-how’d it just to be sure. Apparently you’re supposed to dice them in a way where they don’t completely fall apart and render you incapable of cutting them properly. Unfortunately, I read that tip last. So I ended up with what I’m dubbing semi-diced onions (@Tom Colicchio please call me if you want to use that term).


Semi-diced onions

The next impossible challenge involved cutting the actual sausage. First of all, uncooked meat grosses me out, so I didn’t want to be anywhere near it to begin with. Second of all, there is no such thing as a knife that will cut through sausage casing (or if there is we don’t own one). I went through four different knives, (and a pair of scissors — oops), each bigger than the last, before I was able to cut the sausage into little balls (not the “slivers”) the recipe called for.

image1 (1)
All the tools I used to try to cut the sausage (minus the scissors)

Adding the spices was definitely the best part because I could easily pretend I was on MasterChef (by which I mean I just added way more spices than the recipe called for and tasted the food every two seconds).

Everything sort of went downhill when I added the noodles. Since the recipe didn’t actually call for them, I just added a whole bag of rice noodles and hoped for the best. The noodle:sauce ratio was pretty high. I sort of salvaged it after stirring the noodles around a lot and adding sauce directly to the sausage.

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The moment I thought it was all over

Anyway, the final result was adequate at best.image4

My dogs seemed to like it at least! Round 2 of Olivia’s Cooking Challenge is tonight, so stay tuned.image5





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